Pray for Mercy
My dear friend Carri has a little girl that was born with a hemangioma. They have spent 2 years working with specialists.
I met Carri almost 10 years ago (has it been that long?) on an email loop. I've since met her IRL. Our family visited her a few summers ago. Isaac, Allen and I went to visit a couple years ago, too. She is a wonderful lady with a gift for hospitality and a love for her family. So she is a real person :)
You can go HERE and read several blog posts about Mercy's condition and ongoing treatment.
If you'd like to add the Pray for Mercy gadget to your blog, please visit Carri's blog for info on how to do that.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Life is flying by so quickly!
How did that happen? I blinked and my kids were all of a sudden 14, 16 and 18. They're taller than I am. They have such deep voices that I'm not sure if I am talking to them on the phone or Doug! I know they were just babies yesterday. My gramma told me this would happen :)
Next week I'll be 40! How did THAT happen? I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to before I was 40. Mainly lose weight and not be sick. I only have control over one of those, and not even really. I can't make myself not sick. I'm learning I also can't make myself lose weight quickly with health issues. But I did lost 14.5 lbs. in the past 11 months! At this rate I'll be to goal before I'm 50 :::snort:::
Our 20th anniversary is this year. WOW! I am just amazed at how quickly life is flying by.
Soon my guys will all be graduated. Jordan graduates this year. He is just about finished up with all of his school work and is looking for a job. He doesn't want to attend college right now (or ever he says ;) ). So he's looking for a job. Not an easy thing to do in this day and age or in the area we live in.
Isaac and Allen are both in high school and barreling towards the finish line! Isaac is wanting to get his driver's license soon. He needs to find a part-time job first so he can pay for at least some of his insurance. Teenage boys are expensive to insure! Allen gets his permit this year! Amazing.
So today I am sitting here remembering them being little and how crazy life was then. It isn't any less crazy now, it is just different crazy. I am really enjoying life with teens. They are growing up into amazing people.
So next week will be busy with birthday celebrations. Mom is coming on Tuesday for lunch. Two girlfriends are meeting me for lunch on Wednesday. Doug will be home on my birthday, which is Thursday :) We had plans to go away overnight, but we may not do that. If we stay home, hopefully we'll have a quiet family evening celebrating. Doug is taking me out on Saturday to dinner and dancing to celebrate.
Life is good :)
How did that happen? I blinked and my kids were all of a sudden 14, 16 and 18. They're taller than I am. They have such deep voices that I'm not sure if I am talking to them on the phone or Doug! I know they were just babies yesterday. My gramma told me this would happen :)
Next week I'll be 40! How did THAT happen? I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to before I was 40. Mainly lose weight and not be sick. I only have control over one of those, and not even really. I can't make myself not sick. I'm learning I also can't make myself lose weight quickly with health issues. But I did lost 14.5 lbs. in the past 11 months! At this rate I'll be to goal before I'm 50 :::snort:::
Our 20th anniversary is this year. WOW! I am just amazed at how quickly life is flying by.
Soon my guys will all be graduated. Jordan graduates this year. He is just about finished up with all of his school work and is looking for a job. He doesn't want to attend college right now (or ever he says ;) ). So he's looking for a job. Not an easy thing to do in this day and age or in the area we live in.
Isaac and Allen are both in high school and barreling towards the finish line! Isaac is wanting to get his driver's license soon. He needs to find a part-time job first so he can pay for at least some of his insurance. Teenage boys are expensive to insure! Allen gets his permit this year! Amazing.
So today I am sitting here remembering them being little and how crazy life was then. It isn't any less crazy now, it is just different crazy. I am really enjoying life with teens. They are growing up into amazing people.
So next week will be busy with birthday celebrations. Mom is coming on Tuesday for lunch. Two girlfriends are meeting me for lunch on Wednesday. Doug will be home on my birthday, which is Thursday :) We had plans to go away overnight, but we may not do that. If we stay home, hopefully we'll have a quiet family evening celebrating. Doug is taking me out on Saturday to dinner and dancing to celebrate.
Life is good :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What I've Been Up To
It's been a busy month. I can't believe February is almost over! Wasn't it just Christmas?
We've been quite busy. January we were buried in snow and freezing with close to zero temps.
Doug and I got together with friends a couple of times. We had dinner and went dancing with one couple at the end of January. Last weekend we wento to dinner with 2 couples. We met all of these couples on Sonlight. Isn't the internet fun?
Sunday I went to PA to visit my girlfriend (Another SL friend) and got home today. Allen came with me. It was SO relaxing and nice. I cuddled her 3 year old daughter and Allen played with her 7 year old son. We relaxed and visited and did not much of anything. We did enjoy sunshine and the fact the temps were above freezing :) I babysat yesterday evening so she and her husband could go out.
We've been plugging along with school. We've all been cabin fevered. Just a couple more months and it will be spring.
I've barely left my house other than visiting Jen and going out with Doug on the weekends. I think I've only driven my car 4 times since Christmas LOL.
I've been feeling so-so. Better than last year, but not good. I've been doing a pretty good job staying on top of the fibro this year. I've been napping and getting enough sleep at night and not over scheduling. This is one of the toughest times of year for me. But I'm doing so-so.
Doug will be home tomorrow, although very late, so I won't see him until Thursday. We have plans Thursday and Saturday. I hope to be incredibly lazy all Friday evening after errands on Friday.
My birthday is next week. Doug and I are hoping to go away for the night. We'll see if that works out.
So that's me lately. Same old same old, not much going on but winter ;)
What have you been doing? How is your weather? I'll live vicariously through your sunshine if you tell me about it :)
It's been a busy month. I can't believe February is almost over! Wasn't it just Christmas?
We've been quite busy. January we were buried in snow and freezing with close to zero temps.
Doug and I got together with friends a couple of times. We had dinner and went dancing with one couple at the end of January. Last weekend we wento to dinner with 2 couples. We met all of these couples on Sonlight. Isn't the internet fun?
Sunday I went to PA to visit my girlfriend (Another SL friend) and got home today. Allen came with me. It was SO relaxing and nice. I cuddled her 3 year old daughter and Allen played with her 7 year old son. We relaxed and visited and did not much of anything. We did enjoy sunshine and the fact the temps were above freezing :) I babysat yesterday evening so she and her husband could go out.
We've been plugging along with school. We've all been cabin fevered. Just a couple more months and it will be spring.
I've barely left my house other than visiting Jen and going out with Doug on the weekends. I think I've only driven my car 4 times since Christmas LOL.
I've been feeling so-so. Better than last year, but not good. I've been doing a pretty good job staying on top of the fibro this year. I've been napping and getting enough sleep at night and not over scheduling. This is one of the toughest times of year for me. But I'm doing so-so.
Doug will be home tomorrow, although very late, so I won't see him until Thursday. We have plans Thursday and Saturday. I hope to be incredibly lazy all Friday evening after errands on Friday.
My birthday is next week. Doug and I are hoping to go away for the night. We'll see if that works out.
So that's me lately. Same old same old, not much going on but winter ;)
What have you been doing? How is your weather? I'll live vicariously through your sunshine if you tell me about it :)
Tuesday, February 03, 2009

My Mom gave me this blog award. Thanks Mom!
The official rules are as follows:
1. Copy the award to your site
2. Link to the person from whom you received the award
3. Nominate 7 other bloggers
4. Link to those on your blog
5. Leave a message on the blogs you nominated
Jennifer ~ Jennifer's Joy Ride ~ I "know" Jennifer from the Sonlight forums. She is always so encouraging to me.
Peg ~ Life at La Geron ~ Another friend I know from the Sonlight forums. I've had the pleasure of meeting her IRL a few times. She makes me laugh. She knits beautifully and has an etsy shop.
Bethany ~ The Land of Curly Hair ~ OK, so I know a lot of people from the Sonlight forums :) Bethany has the most adorable kids, great pictures, lots of frugal living tips and great recipes. She has a recipe blog linked from this blog.
De'Etta ~ Choosing Joy ~ I know De'Etta from a home schooling Yahoo group. She is a military mom of a large family. So encouraging in life and school and being healthy.
Kristal ~ Knit 1 Kids 4 ~ Another Sonlight friend. Kristal only lives an hour from me and I've had the pleasure of calling her a friend. We're going on a double date (well triple since another couple is going, too) soon. She takes beautiful photos and also knits beautiful and has an etsy shop.
Robin ~ Knittin' Peace ~ Another Sonlight friend. Robin makes me laugh. And she sews the most stunning aprons. She also has an etsy shop.
Susan ~ Wild Life in the Woods ~ Yep, another Sonlight friend. Susan makes me laugh until I cry. She is also blessed with the gift of encouragement. She will always have something encouraging to say about whatever is bothering you. Such a blessing she is.
Anybody else that would like to participate. Please leave me a comment so I know you did :)
Monday, January 26, 2009
I am JUST DONE with Winter!
Too bad I have 2 1/2 more months.
There is too much testosterone and too much boredom this time of year. We are all on each other's nerves.
Why do I live in this area??
I love these kids and my life and hs'ing, but gosh, today I'd like to be all alone, in the sun, in the warmth, with a book and no teenage boys around LOL.
So how is it at your house? Are you nearing the end of winter? If you are, don't rub it in too much ;)
Too bad I have 2 1/2 more months.
There is too much testosterone and too much boredom this time of year. We are all on each other's nerves.
Why do I live in this area??
I love these kids and my life and hs'ing, but gosh, today I'd like to be all alone, in the sun, in the warmth, with a book and no teenage boys around LOL.
So how is it at your house? Are you nearing the end of winter? If you are, don't rub it in too much ;)
Friday, January 23, 2009
My Mom did this meme on her blog. I thought it sounded like fun, so I asked her to interview me :)
1. What are the rewards you have received from homeschooling your children?
It is rewarding to watch them learn something they've been strugging with. It is also nice that the boys can see Doug on his days off. He works such a crazy schedule.
2. What are your favorite things to do as a family?
In the winter we like to play games together. Apples to Apples is a new favorite. We also like card games.
3. What is your favorite movie of all time?
Return to Me
4. Who is your favorite author and why?
I have to pick just 1? I don't have A favorite author, but I'll just talk about one. Right now I am really enjoying Diana Gabaldon. She wrote the Outlander series. She does a fantastic job of weaving a story, drawing you in, developing the characters and plot and using historical facts.
I also like Debbie Macomber, Nelson DeMille, James Patterson, Karen Kingsbury, and many, many other authors.
5. What would be your dream vacation?
Two weeks alone with Doug. We'd go to a luxury cabin on a lake in the mountains. It would be sunny and warm, but not too hot. A nice boat and a hot tub would be necessary :) I'd like to do it right now please :)
For those of you who might want to be interviewed, here are the directions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions and I will need your e-mail.).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
1. What are the rewards you have received from homeschooling your children?
It is rewarding to watch them learn something they've been strugging with. It is also nice that the boys can see Doug on his days off. He works such a crazy schedule.
2. What are your favorite things to do as a family?
In the winter we like to play games together. Apples to Apples is a new favorite. We also like card games.
3. What is your favorite movie of all time?
Return to Me
4. Who is your favorite author and why?
I have to pick just 1? I don't have A favorite author, but I'll just talk about one. Right now I am really enjoying Diana Gabaldon. She wrote the Outlander series. She does a fantastic job of weaving a story, drawing you in, developing the characters and plot and using historical facts.
I also like Debbie Macomber, Nelson DeMille, James Patterson, Karen Kingsbury, and many, many other authors.
5. What would be your dream vacation?
Two weeks alone with Doug. We'd go to a luxury cabin on a lake in the mountains. It would be sunny and warm, but not too hot. A nice boat and a hot tub would be necessary :) I'd like to do it right now please :)
For those of you who might want to be interviewed, here are the directions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions and I will need your e-mail.).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Tips for Keeping Your House Clean (or at least picked up)
There were a few threads recently on the Sonlight forums about how do you keep your house clean. So I thought I'd share a few things that I do to keep the house cleaned up.
Now, my house is in no way spotlessly clean. But it is usually presentable and moderately clean.
There were a few threads recently on the Sonlight forums about how do you keep your house clean. So I thought I'd share a few things that I do to keep the house cleaned up.
Now, my house is in no way spotlessly clean. But it is usually presentable and moderately clean.
- When working in the kitchen, wipe up spills as they happen. It only takes a few seconds at the time of the spill since it isn't dried on.
- Keep a sink of soapy water so you can wash as you go.
- Deal with dirty dishes the first time. Meaning, if it is going into the dishwasher, put it into the dishwasher as soon as you are finished with it instead of letting things stack up in the sink to deal with later.
- Clean up the kitchen after every meal. It takes about 10 min. for me to clean up after breakfast and lunch, 15-20 after dinner, instead of an hour+ at the end of the day when I am exhausted.
- Enlist the help of your children. Give them daily chores and a set time to do them.
- Toss junk mail instead of letting it pile up.
- Have a cleaning schedule. I dust and clean the living and dining rooms on Wednesday, deep clean the kitchen on Wednesday, laundry on Monday and Friday, bathroom cleaned Sunday evening, etc. My bedroom dusted/swept on Tuesday.
- Have kids pick up toys/stuff before afternoon quiet time/nap time and before bed.
- Each of my kids has a large laundry basket for their school stuff. They put their books and notebooks in there and then after school, it goes into the school room. Ironically we don't do school there, but we keep stuff there.
- Do a quick clean up before bed. Fold blankets, load up dishes, wipe counters, pick up clutter. A 10 minute walk through the house to tidy up before bed means when you get up in the morning, you don't have to do yesterday's work.
Those are just a few things I do to keep the house picked up and cleaned. I admit to being a Type A naturally organized person, so this comes easily to me.
What tips can you share?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Ohio Winter Journal
Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.
Oct. 14 - Ohio is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful; certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.
Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ohio. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!
Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!
Dec. 21 - More of that white stuff coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. *******.
Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the SOB who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll strangle him! And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crud??
Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??
Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the month of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the plow driver actually had the stones to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a bleepity bleep deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the dang thing. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.
Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of crud into fireplace wood when I had the chance.
May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that dratted salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow poop!
Jun 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Ohio....
O - H.....I - O!
__________________
Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.
Oct. 14 - Ohio is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful; certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.
Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ohio. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!
Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!
Dec. 21 - More of that white stuff coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. *******.
Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the SOB who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll strangle him! And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crud??
Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??
Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the month of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the plow driver actually had the stones to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a bleepity bleep deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the dang thing. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.
Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of crud into fireplace wood when I had the chance.
May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that dratted salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow poop!
Jun 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Ohio....
O - H.....I - O!
__________________
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Do you like yourself as a mom?
That was the question one mom asked on the Sonlight forums today. It has been a very interesting discussion. And I am saddened by the amount of those that do not feel they are a good mom :(
This was my reply:
Life is hard and busy and just a plain old lot of work. We have ideals in our head what a good mom is. Mine was a good mom did not yell at her kids. Guess what? I'm a yeller. I have this wonderfully patient friend that never yells at her kids, and she has 4 and I only have 3.
So I was telling her this one day, how I wish I could be such a good mom as her. Guess what she told me. She wants to be a good mom like me. Because in her fantasy world of what a good mom is, she decided a good mom cooked great meals and baked yummy goodies. Well, I did that.
The times I liked myself as a mom the least, I was too busy. I had to take a hard look at how I was spending my time, and how I wanted to spend my time. I did let my PC buisness go because I just couldn't do it all. Have a PC business, home school my kids, do all around the house, raise kids mostly by myself because Doug isn't home much. I didn't want to be leaving my boys 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 evenings a week so I could do kitchen shows. I didn't want to be busy on the phone in the afternoon. It was a sacrafice, because I loved it and I was good at it. It's been worth it though. There have been times I've been way too busy doing "stuff" outside the home, and I've had to let that go, too. Kicking and screaming usually.
It is easy to get down on myself. I want to do so much more than I do. Things I used to do before I dealt with chronic disease. But you know what? I can't. So I can make sure I am doing the important things. Being there at night when somebody knocks on my bedroom door and wants to hang out and talk to me. Usually I have to get off the computer or hang up the phone, and sometimes I just plain don't want to. But talking to the person that needs that outlet then is important.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess to answer your question, yes I like myself as a mom. Am I doing it the way my "fantasy mom" does? Nope. And I have to remind myself that I do not have to be "fantasy mom" when I get discouraged. I only have to be the best mom the Lord has called me to be.
I'd encourage you to spend time in prayer, in looking over your schedule, in talking with your husband and decide which things are important and how to make sure they get put into your shedule. I think you can have a business, sit outside and read and have quiet in your day if you can figure out how to schedule it in there. And be flexible.
Natalie/Geek had a fabulous reply:
I'm glad you started this thread. I think many of us need to hear it, including me. We need to know that we're not alone in this, that all moms struggle. We homeschool moms especially spend so much time with our kids already and it often feels like, "Enough already!" when we are expected (by whom?) to spend even MORE time with them, playing and meeting their needs.
I think kleo30 nabbed it when she called this ideal the "fantasy mom". We all have our ideal of what she looks like...and that we aren't her. We beat ourselves up because we can't somehow make ourselves into Fantasy Mom.
What are we afraid of? That we won't live up to God's standard for us? That's the only thing we should be concerned with. And we shouldn't be thinking WE can make ourselves into anything, anyway; we can't. Everything we think we make is really dust, smoke & mirrors anyway.
All this to say: I often don't like myself as a mom, but I'm learning to see myself as a work in progress just as God does. I keep myself up at night, crying from my heart about how I wish I could change. But it is only when I can accept myself--where I am today--that God can do a work in me. As long as we're not accepting ourselves, we are still fooling ourselves into thinking we can change ourselves. That is pride, fallen into due to fear of what everyone but God thinks of us.
I do spend many of these late, fretful nights thinking I'm crying out to the Lord...but I'm not. I'm crying out to my Self, trying to make my Self figure out how to be Fantasy Mom #1.
1. Fantasy Mom doesn't exist. In fact, she is actually a false god.
2. God-is-changing-me-a-little-each-day Mom does exist.
--I give myself down time, within reason.--I forgive myself when I'm having a bad day and just don't want to hear about Star Wars the Clone Wars *again*, nor do I want to play Chutes 'n Ladders or drag out messy paints.--I recognize my drive to be a better mom is most often rooted in fear and pride, not in a humble desire to be better. The humble desire to be better must rest completely in God changing me, not me changing myself. Yes, I must cooperate, but I'm not supposed to have anything figured out. Not anything. I'm supposed to feel like I'm clinging to a rock to avoid drowning! When I think I've got something figured out, all I've really done is let go of the rock and erect a useless raft made out of dust & mud.--I do my very best to take one day at a time. I can only do today. Very often I can only do this minute or this hour. That's okay.--I try to gently remind myself that I'm human and that I already do spend a great deal of time with my kids. It's normal to need a break! It's normal to feel like you want to escape, no matter the cost! The more space I give myself, the less resentful I feel, and the more I want to actually spend down time with the kids.--I remind myself that there is a fine, but significant, line between 1) fretting because I'm not who I think I should be (setting up a false god), and 2) allowing God to weed my garden.
Lastly--but most importantly!--I place a very high priority on time with the Lord. I tell my kids when they come downtairs in the morning earlier than usual, "Mommy is recharging her batteries, just like the battery charger plugged in over there." They get it, especially when I tell them that an empty Mom battery is one that yells a lot, LOL. They are learning to respect Mom as a person who has needs, to see that Mom needs God to recharge, and that recharging with God improves people and is time well spent.
So how about you? Do you like yourself as a mom?
That was the question one mom asked on the Sonlight forums today. It has been a very interesting discussion. And I am saddened by the amount of those that do not feel they are a good mom :(
This was my reply:
Life is hard and busy and just a plain old lot of work. We have ideals in our head what a good mom is. Mine was a good mom did not yell at her kids. Guess what? I'm a yeller. I have this wonderfully patient friend that never yells at her kids, and she has 4 and I only have 3.
So I was telling her this one day, how I wish I could be such a good mom as her. Guess what she told me. She wants to be a good mom like me. Because in her fantasy world of what a good mom is, she decided a good mom cooked great meals and baked yummy goodies. Well, I did that.
The times I liked myself as a mom the least, I was too busy. I had to take a hard look at how I was spending my time, and how I wanted to spend my time. I did let my PC buisness go because I just couldn't do it all. Have a PC business, home school my kids, do all around the house, raise kids mostly by myself because Doug isn't home much. I didn't want to be leaving my boys 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 evenings a week so I could do kitchen shows. I didn't want to be busy on the phone in the afternoon. It was a sacrafice, because I loved it and I was good at it. It's been worth it though. There have been times I've been way too busy doing "stuff" outside the home, and I've had to let that go, too. Kicking and screaming usually.
It is easy to get down on myself. I want to do so much more than I do. Things I used to do before I dealt with chronic disease. But you know what? I can't. So I can make sure I am doing the important things. Being there at night when somebody knocks on my bedroom door and wants to hang out and talk to me. Usually I have to get off the computer or hang up the phone, and sometimes I just plain don't want to. But talking to the person that needs that outlet then is important.
Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess to answer your question, yes I like myself as a mom. Am I doing it the way my "fantasy mom" does? Nope. And I have to remind myself that I do not have to be "fantasy mom" when I get discouraged. I only have to be the best mom the Lord has called me to be.
I'd encourage you to spend time in prayer, in looking over your schedule, in talking with your husband and decide which things are important and how to make sure they get put into your shedule. I think you can have a business, sit outside and read and have quiet in your day if you can figure out how to schedule it in there. And be flexible.
Natalie/Geek had a fabulous reply:
I'm glad you started this thread. I think many of us need to hear it, including me. We need to know that we're not alone in this, that all moms struggle. We homeschool moms especially spend so much time with our kids already and it often feels like, "Enough already!" when we are expected (by whom?) to spend even MORE time with them, playing and meeting their needs.
I think kleo30 nabbed it when she called this ideal the "fantasy mom". We all have our ideal of what she looks like...and that we aren't her. We beat ourselves up because we can't somehow make ourselves into Fantasy Mom.
What are we afraid of? That we won't live up to God's standard for us? That's the only thing we should be concerned with. And we shouldn't be thinking WE can make ourselves into anything, anyway; we can't. Everything we think we make is really dust, smoke & mirrors anyway.
All this to say: I often don't like myself as a mom, but I'm learning to see myself as a work in progress just as God does. I keep myself up at night, crying from my heart about how I wish I could change. But it is only when I can accept myself--where I am today--that God can do a work in me. As long as we're not accepting ourselves, we are still fooling ourselves into thinking we can change ourselves. That is pride, fallen into due to fear of what everyone but God thinks of us.
I do spend many of these late, fretful nights thinking I'm crying out to the Lord...but I'm not. I'm crying out to my Self, trying to make my Self figure out how to be Fantasy Mom #1.
1. Fantasy Mom doesn't exist. In fact, she is actually a false god.
2. God-is-changing-me-a-little-each-day Mom does exist.
--I give myself down time, within reason.--I forgive myself when I'm having a bad day and just don't want to hear about Star Wars the Clone Wars *again*, nor do I want to play Chutes 'n Ladders or drag out messy paints.--I recognize my drive to be a better mom is most often rooted in fear and pride, not in a humble desire to be better. The humble desire to be better must rest completely in God changing me, not me changing myself. Yes, I must cooperate, but I'm not supposed to have anything figured out. Not anything. I'm supposed to feel like I'm clinging to a rock to avoid drowning! When I think I've got something figured out, all I've really done is let go of the rock and erect a useless raft made out of dust & mud.--I do my very best to take one day at a time. I can only do today. Very often I can only do this minute or this hour. That's okay.--I try to gently remind myself that I'm human and that I already do spend a great deal of time with my kids. It's normal to need a break! It's normal to feel like you want to escape, no matter the cost! The more space I give myself, the less resentful I feel, and the more I want to actually spend down time with the kids.--I remind myself that there is a fine, but significant, line between 1) fretting because I'm not who I think I should be (setting up a false god), and 2) allowing God to weed my garden.
Lastly--but most importantly!--I place a very high priority on time with the Lord. I tell my kids when they come downtairs in the morning earlier than usual, "Mommy is recharging her batteries, just like the battery charger plugged in over there." They get it, especially when I tell them that an empty Mom battery is one that yells a lot, LOL. They are learning to respect Mom as a person who has needs, to see that Mom needs God to recharge, and that recharging with God improves people and is time well spent.
So how about you? Do you like yourself as a mom?
It's a winter wonderland!!!!
It started snowing early yesterday evening and snowed all night. We woke up to about 8" of snow and it was still falling.
It is falling at a rate of 1 1/2" inches an hour. We are in the southernmost part of the snowbelt. I cannot imagine how much snow they are getting near the lake!
It is gorgeous out there! It is also a bit of a bummer because we had plans tonight. We were going out with Rick and Linda. Rick and Doug share a birthday, and our families were going out for a grand night on the town. We'll have to reschedule that I am sure!
My people are everywhere. Jordan spent the night at a friend's house. He is supposed to work today. I'm sure the grocery store won't close UGH. So he needs to make his way home. Probably sooner than later when there is more snow.
Isaac spent the night at my gramma's house. Doug just left to get him. Secretly, I think he wants driveway shoveling help. Isaac is a great driveway shoveler :)
Allen had 2 friends stay last night. They just came in from playing in the snow. I think Allen is going to make them instant cocoa. The one dad is coming at 2 to get the boys.
If it were up to me, everybody would stay put until tomorrow :)
Me, I'm having a jammie day. I did put corn chowder on for lunch. I am in a lot of pain today, so I took some pain meds, grabbed the laptop, telephone and remote control and climed into bed. I am propped up with tons of pillows and plan to not move most of the day. Oh, I have my crocheting with me too :)
So how is your weather today?
Friday, January 09, 2009
Today is my brother's birthday.
Here are a couple pictures of pictures. I don't have a scanner, so ignore the fuzzy quality. Taking pictures of pictures is not the best way to share them LOL. The first one is one of his graduation pictures. The second one is at my wedding with my sisters and me.

It's so strange that my brother will always, forevermore, in my memory be 21 years old. Forever youthful, young and vibrant. He was a cutie, he was. The girls all thought so too.
He was terrified of spiders. We used to force him to watch this spider movie. I cannot remember what it was called, but it was about tarantulas taking over. We
ren't we mean?
Here are a couple pictures of pictures. I don't have a scanner, so ignore the fuzzy quality. Taking pictures of pictures is not the best way to share them LOL. The first one is one of his graduation pictures. The second one is at my wedding with my sisters and me.
He would have be 37 years old today. But he isn't. Sadly he was in a tragic accident that took his life when he was 21 years old.

It's so strange that my brother will always, forevermore, in my memory be 21 years old. Forever youthful, young and vibrant. He was a cutie, he was. The girls all thought so too.
Today I was wandering through my memories and thinking of my brother. My mom and dad had 4 children, in less than 4 years. I was 3 for about am month after my youngest sister was born. There were 3 girls and a boy. Jon was the third born. He was a dare devil. My mom has stories to tell that would make any mother's heart jump with fear!
I remember when we were little, and we'd polish Jon's fingernails and do up his hair. I'm sure that wasn't on the top of his list of things to do LOL.
He was terrified of spiders. We used to force him to watch this spider movie. I cannot remember what it was called, but it was about tarantulas taking over. We
ren't we mean?So today I am fondly thinking about Jon and feeling sad that he is not here to know my kids. You never know what life is going to throw at you. Love the ones you love and enjoy every minute with them.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
What's happening in your home tonight?
It's a rare night in our household. All of the people are home!
We had a really nice dinner. Doug requested glazed salmon and brown rice for dinner. I made that with some sauteed fresh veggies seasoned with bell pepper and herb spices.
While I was doing the dishes, the boys' friend, John, stopped by. He's like my 4th son. Jordan and John have been friends since they were 1st and 2nd grades.
Anyway, Doug, my three guys, and John are all sitting in the dining room playing Apples to Apples. It sounds like they are either having a great time, or they are about to kill each other. I guess it depends on who is the judge.
I am hiding in my bedroom, propped up in bed with the laptop, the 70s digital music station playing and a hot cup of creamy coffee.
Life is so sweet!
So what's happening at your home tonight?
It's a rare night in our household. All of the people are home!
We had a really nice dinner. Doug requested glazed salmon and brown rice for dinner. I made that with some sauteed fresh veggies seasoned with bell pepper and herb spices.
While I was doing the dishes, the boys' friend, John, stopped by. He's like my 4th son. Jordan and John have been friends since they were 1st and 2nd grades.
Anyway, Doug, my three guys, and John are all sitting in the dining room playing Apples to Apples. It sounds like they are either having a great time, or they are about to kill each other. I guess it depends on who is the judge.
I am hiding in my bedroom, propped up in bed with the laptop, the 70s digital music station playing and a hot cup of creamy coffee.
Life is so sweet!
So what's happening at your home tonight?
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Happy Birthday Doug!!!
This year we're going to celebrate Doug's birthday with friends of ours. Rick's birthday is also today! So Saturday our families will go out to dinner and to hear a band together. It's going to be a great time!
Doug should be home early tonight \o/ So I'm going to get to see him on his birthday. You just never know with this job if he'll be home for important days. But he will be for this one :)
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Happy New Year!!!
Doug and I went to a fancy-schmancy NYE party. Actually Doug was running sound for the band, so he was working part of the night. We didn't think we'd be able to go, but at the last minute Doug's boss let him know that yes in deed he would be off for NYE \o/ The party was an overnight stay at a hotel with lots of food and great entertainment!
We checked into the hotel about 3pm. Doug had sound stuff to do, so he worked while I took a nap, read a book, took a bubble bath and got all ready for the night. By the time Doug came back up, all I had to do was put on my dress.
They had appetizers, dinner, dancing, midnight toast, pork and sauerkraut on NYE. On NY Day there was fabulous breakfast buffet. The food was so good. It was a Caribbean theme that night. They had a roast pig, some kind of pineapple chicken, blackened mahi mahi, some kind of beef, fried rice, mashed sweet potatoes with toasted coconut, pecand and brown sugar to put on them, mashed potatoes, salads, rolls and lots of desserts. It was SO good. The morning breakfast was eggs, sausage & bacon, biscuits, sausage gravy, pastries, fruit, made to order omlets, Belgian waffles with lots of toppings and mimosas and bloody marys if you were so inclined.
Doug had to set up the sound board way in the back of the room on NYE. He was squished between some tables, so I didn't sit with him. I sat with the girls and we had a great time. We danced, we talked, and danced some more. Doug was able to dance with me some. Another band we like was playing in the lounge down the hall. So I went down there a few times to visit. They didn't finish until 1:30, and our band finished at 1, so we all went down there to hang out afterwards and dance some more. Great fun!
We got back to our room about 1:45. There were two boys, probably 10?, playing hackie sack in the hallway. They were loud. They were out there a while. I have no idea where their parents were. We got up about 9:30 and had breakfast with the band. Then they had to tear down, so I went back to the room to read and rest.
The room was beautiful. They did a great job decorating. There were very colorful tropical latern things (what are those called?) hanging from the ceiling. The tables had tall square vases with tropical flowers. There were noise makers, hats and disposable cameras on the table for each couple. The buffet table had very tall square vases with flowers, but inside the vases were goldfish. So pretty! Both rooms actually; the ballroom and the lounge. We had a really nice time. I love being able to get all dressed up. It was nice not to have to drive home at 2am. It was just very nice.
Here are a couple pictures. Doug took a picture of us. Didn't turn out too bad for a self-portrait :)
Doug and I went to a fancy-schmancy NYE party. Actually Doug was running sound for the band, so he was working part of the night. We didn't think we'd be able to go, but at the last minute Doug's boss let him know that yes in deed he would be off for NYE \o/ The party was an overnight stay at a hotel with lots of food and great entertainment!
We checked into the hotel about 3pm. Doug had sound stuff to do, so he worked while I took a nap, read a book, took a bubble bath and got all ready for the night. By the time Doug came back up, all I had to do was put on my dress.
They had appetizers, dinner, dancing, midnight toast, pork and sauerkraut on NYE. On NY Day there was fabulous breakfast buffet. The food was so good. It was a Caribbean theme that night. They had a roast pig, some kind of pineapple chicken, blackened mahi mahi, some kind of beef, fried rice, mashed sweet potatoes with toasted coconut, pecand and brown sugar to put on them, mashed potatoes, salads, rolls and lots of desserts. It was SO good. The morning breakfast was eggs, sausage & bacon, biscuits, sausage gravy, pastries, fruit, made to order omlets, Belgian waffles with lots of toppings and mimosas and bloody marys if you were so inclined.
Doug had to set up the sound board way in the back of the room on NYE. He was squished between some tables, so I didn't sit with him. I sat with the girls and we had a great time. We danced, we talked, and danced some more. Doug was able to dance with me some. Another band we like was playing in the lounge down the hall. So I went down there a few times to visit. They didn't finish until 1:30, and our band finished at 1, so we all went down there to hang out afterwards and dance some more. Great fun!
We got back to our room about 1:45. There were two boys, probably 10?, playing hackie sack in the hallway. They were loud. They were out there a while. I have no idea where their parents were. We got up about 9:30 and had breakfast with the band. Then they had to tear down, so I went back to the room to read and rest.
The room was beautiful. They did a great job decorating. There were very colorful tropical latern things (what are those called?) hanging from the ceiling. The tables had tall square vases with tropical flowers. There were noise makers, hats and disposable cameras on the table for each couple. The buffet table had very tall square vases with flowers, but inside the vases were goldfish. So pretty! Both rooms actually; the ballroom and the lounge. We had a really nice time. I love being able to get all dressed up. It was nice not to have to drive home at 2am. It was just very nice.
Here are a couple pictures. Doug took a picture of us. Didn't turn out too bad for a self-portrait :)
The past couple weeks were a whirlwind!
Do the last couple weeks of December feel insanely busy to anybody but me?
We had a great Christmas. Doug was able to be home on Christmas Eve. We didn't think he would be. He actually came home on the 23rd. It was lovely having him home that many days. He was also home on NYE, which again, we didn't think he would be. And again, lovely extra days. Which is why I've not blogged. I try really hard to not be on the computer much when he is home. This week he is back to normal schedule. It will seem like a long week.
So Christmas Eve was busy. We all cooked and cleaned and got ready for the next day. Isaac sang in the worship team at church, so he had to be there at 4 and for both evening services. It really makes this mama's heart proud to see her baby up there on stage worshipping the Lord!
Christmas day was very relaxing. We slept in (one great thing about teens and Christmas, no getting up at 5am LOL). When we got up I put on coffee while everybody opened stockings. I started breakfast and then we exchanged gifts.
We have the same Christmas brunch every year. Sausage, egg and cheese casserole, homemade cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, cookies, shrimp cocktain, homemade eggnog, mimosas and this year I made a cheese danish. YUMMY! All recipes can be found on my recipe blog, Cooking for the Guys, under holidays.
My dad and step-mom came over, and we had a nice visit. Then it was time to be lazy. I took a nice, long nap. Doug and the boys sat down to watch a movie, and mostly Doug slept too. My SIL hosted us for dinner. She made a great ham dinner with all the fixings. YUMMY! Her house is tiny, so after dinner and dishes, we all came back here to play Apples to Apples! What a fun game!
The day after Christmas is a party with my mom and her side of the family. Mom hosted this year. There were many people and lots of littles. Both of my sisters and their families, my 2 cousins and their families, my aunt and uncle, my gramma, my great aunt. Good food and great time of fellowship.
Do the last couple weeks of December feel insanely busy to anybody but me?
We had a great Christmas. Doug was able to be home on Christmas Eve. We didn't think he would be. He actually came home on the 23rd. It was lovely having him home that many days. He was also home on NYE, which again, we didn't think he would be. And again, lovely extra days. Which is why I've not blogged. I try really hard to not be on the computer much when he is home. This week he is back to normal schedule. It will seem like a long week.
So Christmas Eve was busy. We all cooked and cleaned and got ready for the next day. Isaac sang in the worship team at church, so he had to be there at 4 and for both evening services. It really makes this mama's heart proud to see her baby up there on stage worshipping the Lord!
Christmas day was very relaxing. We slept in (one great thing about teens and Christmas, no getting up at 5am LOL). When we got up I put on coffee while everybody opened stockings. I started breakfast and then we exchanged gifts.
We have the same Christmas brunch every year. Sausage, egg and cheese casserole, homemade cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, cookies, shrimp cocktain, homemade eggnog, mimosas and this year I made a cheese danish. YUMMY! All recipes can be found on my recipe blog, Cooking for the Guys, under holidays.
My dad and step-mom came over, and we had a nice visit. Then it was time to be lazy. I took a nice, long nap. Doug and the boys sat down to watch a movie, and mostly Doug slept too. My SIL hosted us for dinner. She made a great ham dinner with all the fixings. YUMMY! Her house is tiny, so after dinner and dishes, we all came back here to play Apples to Apples! What a fun game!
The day after Christmas is a party with my mom and her side of the family. Mom hosted this year. There were many people and lots of littles. Both of my sisters and their families, my 2 cousins and their families, my aunt and uncle, my gramma, my great aunt. Good food and great time of fellowship.
Monday, December 22, 2008
It's almost Christmas!
Are you ready?
This year I decided that I was NOT going to be all stressed over Christmas. If something didn't get done, it didn't get done.
It has also been a very lean year as far as money for gifts, so we decided no gifts. We didn't think we'd even have gifts for the kids, but at the last minute we were blessed with GC from annonymous people and we had a little extra that we didn't know we were going to have.
So I went Christmas shopping on Thursday and had a great time! You get great deals the week before Christmas. I don't know if I'll ever want to be done early again LOL.
I also cut back my baking. I usually make double and triple batches of 20-30 kinds of cookies. I also usually sell them; we don't eat all of those ourselves :::snort::: This year I decided no selling and little baking and only single batches. I'll tell ya, baking goes much faster when you are only making 5 or 6 dozen at a time! I did 10 kinds and quit. I have 8 more kinds on the list, but you know, I'm just done. And that is OK!
I really determined that this year I was not going to run ragged and crash in January. So far so good. It's a good feeling to be able to relax this week and not be all stressed over things I thought were oh so important, but really aren't.
The important things are remembering why we celebrate Christmas. Christ's birth. The savior coming to earth so that he could fulfill God's will of dying for us. What an awesome thing to celebrate.
Are you ready?
This year I decided that I was NOT going to be all stressed over Christmas. If something didn't get done, it didn't get done.
It has also been a very lean year as far as money for gifts, so we decided no gifts. We didn't think we'd even have gifts for the kids, but at the last minute we were blessed with GC from annonymous people and we had a little extra that we didn't know we were going to have.
So I went Christmas shopping on Thursday and had a great time! You get great deals the week before Christmas. I don't know if I'll ever want to be done early again LOL.
I also cut back my baking. I usually make double and triple batches of 20-30 kinds of cookies. I also usually sell them; we don't eat all of those ourselves :::snort::: This year I decided no selling and little baking and only single batches. I'll tell ya, baking goes much faster when you are only making 5 or 6 dozen at a time! I did 10 kinds and quit. I have 8 more kinds on the list, but you know, I'm just done. And that is OK!
I really determined that this year I was not going to run ragged and crash in January. So far so good. It's a good feeling to be able to relax this week and not be all stressed over things I thought were oh so important, but really aren't.
The important things are remembering why we celebrate Christmas. Christ's birth. The savior coming to earth so that he could fulfill God's will of dying for us. What an awesome thing to celebrate.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Santa Sightings at My House Today!
Every year Doug is Santa at the bowling alley Christmas party for the kids and for our nieces and nephews.
Today Isaac decided to play with the Santa suit.
The funny thing is we did not "do" Santa when our boys were little. No way, no how, no Santa in this house. So it cracks me up that for the past 5 years Doug has "been" Santa :::snort:::
Every year Doug is Santa at the bowling alley Christmas party for the kids and for our nieces and nephews.
Today Isaac decided to play with the Santa suit.
Heading out to the next stop :)
The funny thing is we did not "do" Santa when our boys were little. No way, no how, no Santa in this house. So it cracks me up that for the past 5 years Doug has "been" Santa :::snort:::
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)





