Friday, January 01, 2010

New Year's Eve

How do you celebrate New Year's Eve?

We celebrated by going to a fancy schmancy dinner dance with friends.  We've gone to this same event the past several years.  It was fun.  Great food, great friends and great music.

Last year Doug and I committed to getting healthy and losing weight.  Doesn't everybody do that in January?  Well, we actually followed through all year.  Between the two of us we've lost 102 lbs. this year.  We aren't finished yet, either.  We'll keep going.  I'm halfway to goal; Doug is about 1/3 the way there.

Here is photographic proof :)  I was excited to compare our last year's pictures with this years.

NYE '08


NYE '09


NYE '08


NYE '09


Next year I'll be able to post before/during/after pictures!  We both are working hard to reach our goal by the end of the year.

Do you follow through on the goals you set at the beginning of the year?  I don't usually, but this year, I am so glad I did!h

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!!

2009 is almost over, can you believe it??  Not only the year, but an entire decade in the new century!

Remember 10 years ago when everybody was worried about Y2K?  It feels so long ago, doesn't it?

Ten years ago my boys were 5, 7 and 9.  They still wanted to hang out with me and thought I was da bomb!  I can't believe they are now 15, 17 and 19.  Two of them are driving and the 3rd is able to get his permit (as soon as I take him for the test), one of them have graduated and has a full time job. 

Ten years ago we were in our 3rd year of hs'ing.  We spent our days going on nature walks, doing game school, cuddling and reading aloud, teaching handwriting and reading.  Now our days are spent with geometry, biology, government.  Gone are the days of snuggles and short school days.  We're in our 13th year!  WOW!  In 2 1/2 short years, everybody will be graduated.  You know that time will fly before you know it.

Ten years ago I turned 30.  I thought I was so old.  Our marriage was in the toilet.  This year I turned 40.  I no longer think I'm old :-P.  Our marriage has done a 180.  God has really done in a miracle in our lives.  I am so thankful and blessed.

We've had so many changes in the past 10 years.  Doug lost a local driving job of 12 years and has been over the road for 3 1/2 years now.  It's stinky, but we are so thankful for a job.  I've had to learn to live with chronic health difficulties.  Another stinky thing.  I don't like limitations, but I've learned to live with them.  I've also learned a lot through them; such as I don't have to say yes to every single thing asked of me, it's OK to ask for help, if it doesn't all get done it really is OK.  I've had to learn to simplify, relax my house keeping standards, slow down, nap, cut my schedule way back, and life still goes in LOL!  I miss the days of napping because I wanted to and not because I had to.  I really miss the days of no pain.  On bad days I have to think about what clothes will hurt the least and not wear jewelry because it is too heavy!  But you know, God is still good.  He still loves me.  And I'm not a horrible Christian because my body has not been healed.  I've walked through big spiritual struggles while coming to terms with my health.

I am looking forward to the next decade.  At the end of it I will be 50!  My kids will be 25, 27 and 29.  I may have grandchildren :)  I pray my husband comes home at night.  And through it all God will be faithful.

Happy New Year!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thankful Thursday

I love Thankful Thursday!!  Today I am thankful:

That Christmas is in 2 weeks and I get to go Christmas shopping on Sunday :)
My power didn't go out lat night (or today) during these strange high winds.
My outside ornaments didn't blow away in those same winds.
A great weekend with friends last weekend. 
My husband
My kids
My family
Starbucks

How about you?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I have so much to be thankful for.  I'll just list a few of them.
  • My sweet husband
  • The fact he made it home at 8:30 this morning and will be at Thanksgiving dinner :)
  • My boys
  • Doug and Jordan both have good jobs
  • My mom's tumor is shrinking
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Jesus
  • So very much more that I can't even list it all
I hope everybody has a fabulous Thanksgiving Day!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Thankful Thursday

A week until Thanksgiving! Unbelieveable!! 

Right now I am so incredibly thankful for a good report my mom received.  She had a scan done this past Monday.  And after her 1st round of chemo, her tumor is shrinking!!  PTL!

She's now completed round 2 of chemo and is going for 2x a day radiation treatments for the next 3 weeks.  I'm looking forward to even more good reports :)

What are you thankful for this week?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for the opportunity to spend time with my mom and gramma.  We went to our favorite yarn store, Knitting on the Square.  We sit, knit, talk, eat, talk, shop.  It is a fabulous day! 

Here we are several weeks ago.  Mom, me and my gramma.  Three generations of knitters. 
Speaking of my mom, here's an update on her. She completed her first round of chemo and has now lost her hair.  She looked absolutely adorable today in her pink hat that one of the gals from knitting made for her.

Monday she starts her 2nd round of chemo.  She will have chemo for 3 days in a row again.  She also starts radiation on Monday.  She will go 2x a day for 3 1/2 weeks along with chemo.  I am so glad they are aggressively treating this cancer, but feel so badly that Mom is going to feel yuck.  She's tired and in much pain right now. She said she now knows how I feel.  I'm glad she won't always have to feel like this.

So I am incredibly thankful for the afternoon with Mom.  How about you?  What are you thankful for today?

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Three Weeks until Thanksgiving!!!

Can you believe it?  I absolutely have no clue where this year went to.  My oldest is going to be 19 this month! Where did those years go?

How do you celebrate Thanksgiving? 

We've not yet decided what we are going to do.  Cook and invite people?  Stay home alone?  Go to my dad's house?  We better decide quickly, eh?

In honor of the Thanksgiving turkey prep, here's one of my favorite turkey commercials :)  Well darn, I can't figure out how to embed the video in the blog post.  Didn't there used to be an icon for that?

Anywhere, HERE it is (link to youtube).

Blog Giveaway!

My friend, Robin, is celebrating her 100th blog post with a give away.

Robin is a talented seamstress and makes the most gorgeous aprons! She will be giving away a 1/2 apron.

So hop on over and leave her a comment.  She's picking the winner on Sunday!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy 20th Anniversary To Us!!

Wow!  Doug and I have been married for 20 years.  It just doesn't seem possible!  It has been a crazy ride, and I'm so glad to have gone through it with my best friend.  I look forward to many, many, many more anniversaries.

And some pictures.

Our engagement picture


I'd LOVE to have that skin and hair again. 40 year old skin just doesn't look like 20 year old skin.  And I think I've lost 1/2 my hair in the past 20 years.  Doug, however, looks even better now!



Look at those huge puffy sleeves!  I don't think you can buy those any more :)
We didn't know how to dance yet,
but we faked it real well!



My very favorite wedding picture.
















And here we are now!  We are more in love today than the day we got married. 

We've been through so much.  Our marriage truly is a miracle.

Babe, I love you more than anything!

Happy Anniversary!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Woo Hoo Isaac!!!!


Isaac is an avid deer hunter. He's been hunting for 3 years and has yet to bag a deer, that is until today!!

He was up and out the door at 5ish this morning. By 8:15 am he had a deer. A 7 point buck no less, weighing in at 125 lbs. field dressed! One arrow and he dropped it!

He has never field dressed a deer. He's never witnessed anybody else field dress a deer. He has watched YouTube field dressing videos. He went a little overboard on the field dressing, but he cleaned it totally out! So that is fair warning that you will see split open deer in this picture.

WAY TO GO ISAAC!!!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Life is busy!

Wow are things busy here!

We're settling into our 13th year of hs'ing.  It is so different to be schooling 2 instead of 3.  Nice I must admit :)

Jordan is working hard at his job.  He works the midnight shift at a plastic factory.  He bought a new to him car; '04 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder Convertible.  It's a sharp car!

Jordan bowled his first ever 300 Game! a few weeks ago!  Way to go Jordan!! He and Isaac had both come close (288 and 290) and we were wondering who would hit 300 first.  It was Jordan!

Isaac has been heading into the woods as often as possible, hoping to bag a deer.  We're all rooting for him!

Isaac and Allen have been busy working their dock business.  Jordan is too busy with work and has moved on and Allen moved up.

Allen is counting down the weeks (I think there are 5 now) until he can get his driver's permit.  Oh my gosh!  Where did the years go?

Doug and I went away for our anniversary last weekend.  We had a nice, although rushed, time.  We'll be married 20 years next week. 

I'm hoping to get away to visit a girlfriend in PA for a few days sometime this month.  I'm also hoping to take the boys to the lake next week for one last overnight, weather permitting.  Today it is a high of 43, tomorrow 38, and SNOW!  I'm SO not ready!  But it's supposed to be sunny and 50 the beginning of the week.  So we'll see.

So how are things going for you?

Some updates on my mom

I went to the oncologist with my mom this past Monday.  I really liked him, and so did she.

She met with a surgeon on Tuesday about having a port put in.  They will do that on the 21st.

Today she has a PET Scan.

She starts chemo on the 26th and will also get the results of her PET Scan at that time.  She may or may have radiation, depending on the scan results.

I appreciate your continued prayers for my mom and our whole family.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Our family sure needs your prayers!

I copied this from my mom's blog.

I have been really ill--diagnosed with SIADH--which I do not really understand it--it has to do with ineffective anti diuretic hormone and my sodium dropped very very low and I was unable to function for 7 days.. I then spent 7 more days in the critical care unit to treat and find they cause.. And the cause was found. They found a lesion on my lower right lung--which is what they feel triggered the SIADH. It was biopsied and it is a small cell cancer. for now that is all we know. I will see an oncologist on Oct 12--have more testing to determine stage etc and then they will decide on treatment. I do know it is not operable.

I spent yesterday Googling.  Googling isn't so fun sometimes.  My mom, all of us, would appreciate your prayers.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thankful Thursday

Today I am incredibly thankful that I can move. I hurt my back on Sunday. Every day I have been feeling better. I am still in pain, but I am able to do all I need to do.

I'm thankful for the beautiful week I had at the lake with Isaac and Allen. What a great place to recover. We go home today.

I am so thankful that tomorrow is Friday, which means Doug comes home sometime!!!!

What are you thankful for today??

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Why are mothers so judgmental of each other?!?!?!?

I do NOT understand why (some) mothers feel the need to judge others on their parenting decisions.

I know better, really I do, than to get involved in the breast vs. bottle debate on the SL forums. It always turns hot. But here I sit resting my back, in severe pain and on drugs (not a good combo for staying out of debate LOL) and just didn't stop myself.

There are so many choices in parenting. They start before the baby is even born!
  • Hospital birth or birthing center or home birth
  • Totally natural or utilize drugs
  • VBAC or repeat C-section
And the choices just go on and on and on, don't they?
  • Breast, bottle, both?
  • Cloth diapers or disposable diapers or elimination communication
  • Family bed or crib
  • Attachment parenting or Baby Wise
  • When to start solids
  • SAHM or Working Mom
  • Public school, private school or home school
Doug and I made the choices we felt best for our family. We had 1 hospital birth and 2 home births. I exclusively breastfed, tandem nursed and extended breast fed. We had a family bed. We home school our children all the way to graduation! We feel these are the best decisions for our family!

Guess what?!?!? I really don't care if you don't choose the same way I did. All of those things are valid and have pros and cons when it comes to parenting.

I also don't want to hear how I'm a horrible mother if I didn't do it your way. I am not selfish nor am I lazy. I am happy and confident in all of the choices I've made. I don't want to hear snide remarks about how I educate my children. I also don't want to hear you complain about the public schools and then criticize my educational choices.

But in return, I will not criticize your parenting choices. What difference does it make to me if you have a medicated hospital birth, bottle feed, go back to work when your baby is 6 weeks old, let your babies cry it out in their cribs and send them to public school when the time comes? Those are your choices! I will not criticize you. If asked, I will offer an opinion. But I will do my very best not to sound like I'm coming from my high horse and my way is the only way and it's God's only way!

So, ladies, wouldn't it be so much better if we encouraged each other along the way. Just because somebody does it differently than you do should not make you feel threatened nor should it make you judgmental!

I am SO glad God only expects me to answer for my own family. It's all I can do to make sure I/we are following God's plan. I really don't have time to make sure you and yours are too!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Thankful Thursday

My friend, Bethany, over at The Land of Curly Hair does a weekly Thankful Thursday blog post. I thought I'd borrow it and join in the fun :)

Today I am thankful that I will be spending the afternoon and evening with my Gramma. After school Isaac will drive over to pick her up (Have I mentioned how much I love having my kids drive?? Well, I do!) and bring her back here. Then I'll drive an hour to the yarn shop.

We will sit and knit, chat with each other and the other ladies that come to knit, have coffee and eat goodies, and shop :) It will be a lovely day! The only thing that would make it better is if my mom were able to join us.

So what are you thankful for today??

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Woo Hoo!!! First day of school :)

We're starting our 13th year of home schooling today \o/ The first year schooling only 2 in years and years. Jordan graduated this spring and is now working full time. Where does the time go? Only 2 more first days of school ever!! Ok, I'll stop that now before I get all sniffly :-P

It is the perfect weather for school starting; rain, gray, rain, dark, rain, cold, rain, rain. All week until Friday even! Great weather for hunkering down and reading. I'm so glad we delayed starting and enjoyed the beautiful, sunny, dry, warm weather last week!

I am so blessed to have the privilege of educating our boys at home. Thank you Lord!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A few finished projects!




I've been knitting this summer. Here are just two projects that I've finished.

First is a Gelato bag. It is a felted bag made from Lamb's Pride wool mohair blend. It was SO fun and easy to make. And it's so tiny and cute! My mom felted it for me since I've never felted and I have a front load washer. She also made the lining and I stitched it in. Not the best stitching job, but it works for me.

And the other is a baby blanket from the Stitch 'n Bitch book. It is a seed stitch border and blocks of stockinette stitch and garter stitch. I made it from dishcloth cotton and it turned out so nice! Our neighbor had a baby last month and this was her gift.

Have you been working on any projects this summer?

A Knitting Contest!!

KnittySue is having a blog contest. It's fun and easy. Just take a picture of your knitting corner and explain what is around it. The contest closes on the 20th.

So here is my knitting corner. It is in the corner of my bedroom.

To the right of the chair is a big basket. Inside the basket you will find patterns printed off the internet, yarn, finished projects and needles.

Beside the basket is a bag with yummy wool in it. I have wool for 2 different Gelato bags and also sport wool for 2 small Lucy bags, and the needles I need for those projects.

To the left of my chair are several bags with ongoing projects in them. The front bag has a baby blanket I am crocheting, a large Lucy bag I am making, plenty of patterns, needles, notions, crochet hooks and scissors, and dishcloth yarn and an unfinished dishcloth.

The next bag has an Ilene bag I started today. I'm making it from dishcloth cotton. It also has patterns and needles and notions and yet another unfinished dishcloth.

The next bag has a baby blanket I am knitting, extra yarn, needles, notions, etc.

The back bag is full of patterns and needles.

The wicker chest in front of the chair I use as a foot rest, hence the pillow. I sit in my room most evenings knitting and browsing the net on my laptop while watching tv.

So there you have it! My ADD knitting corner!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Better Than " " Cake ~ Weight Watchers

I posted this on my Cooking Blog a little bit ago, but decided it needed to be here, too. Oh my is it so decadent! It doesn't taste like anything you'd expect a "diet" recipe to taste like. It is so YUM!

1 box devil's food cake mix
10 oz. cola
1 egg white
6 oz fat free caramel topping
7 oz. fat free sweetened condensed milk
1 c. Heath toffee bits
8 oz. fat free cool whip

Mix cake mix, egg white, and cola. Bake according to cake mix directions in a 9x13" pan sprayed with cooking oil.

During the last few minutes of baking, mix caramel and milk in saucepan, heat and stir until smooth. Take cake out of oven and poke holes all over the top of it. Pour caramel mix over top of cake. Sprinkle with 3/4 c. of Heath bits. Cool cake.

Once cool, covered with cool whip. Sprinkle with last 1/4 c. Heath bits. Refrigerate until serving.

YIELD: 24 or 12
1/24 = 3 WW points; 1/12 = 7 points

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Unconventional Work Schedules

I am cross-posting this from my marriage blog.

Doug has always worked an unconventional schedule. He spent 12 years working a job where he got up anywhere between 2am and 6pm and came home 12-16 hours later. He'd find out on Monday evening what he was going to do on Tuesday, and every day was like that. He did this when the boys were little. It was tough, but at least he came home almost every night.

So when that job ended (and put 57 or so drivers and all the office staff out of work), and had to go over the road, I thought, "How bad will it be? He was rarely on home anyway!" Well, it's a lot worse than I thought. It is down right hard.

There are so many women whose husbands are gone a week, a month, a year, and/or do a lot of travel for their work. It is hard. I didn't realize how hard it would really be.

In an emergency I cannot call my husband home from work. He's states away from me and can't come home. He may be sleeping when an emergency happens; leaving me to make all the decisions. I do not like that at all!

I have 3 teenage boys. Let me tell you that teenage boys act much differently when Dad isn't coming home every night. It is exhausting for a mom to parent and home school teenage boys mostly alone.

It is lonely! I hate going to bed alone. I stay up until I am utterly and totally exhausted and then collapse into bed with a book wishing that my husband were home to kiss me goodnight. I even wish to hear him snoring!

It is frustrating. I am a hormonal mess by the time night number 4 rolls around. I am short tempered and impatient on Thursday and Friday. I really have to work at being kind to my family.

Although we can talk on the phone frequently, we really can't have important conversations or even personal ones. Doug drives with another guy. Corky is always 1 foot away from him. They live in that truck. It is very easy to feel disconnected.

With Doug's schedule of being gone 5 days/5 nights and home for 2 days/2 nights, I am constantly having to change between being the one in charge to not being in charge. That frequent changing back and forth is trying.

The days he is home are so busy we often don't have time to just be and talk and connect. He needs down time. He needs to spend time with the boys. There are always things that need done around the house. We try to go on a date. Laundry needs done, food needs bought and prepared for the coming week in the truck, he needs to nap before leaving for work on Monday, so there goes 1/2 of one of his days home. And then there is family commitments! If you are the mom or sister or whatever of a man that travels for work and isn't home much, please realize that his wife probably doesn't want to share him with you ever weekend, or even every other weekend.

If you are the friend of a woman that is a married single parent (her spouse is gone frequently for several nights or longer at a time), your friend would love to hear from you. It is LONELY! The evenings are the worst. Most people are doing family things. Call her up and ask her if she wants to go to coffee or even just chat on the phone. The computer has become my friend. The few forums I belong to keep me company. I feel like I don't fit into groups at church. I'm not a single mom. But I really can't do things with the couples because my husband isn't home. It is a hard and lonely place to be.

Also, when you call your friend, please don't complain about your husband and all of his shortcomings. Because while she'll sympathize with you about his inability to pick up his socks, she'll really be wishing and longing for her husband to be home so she has the opportunity to pick up his socks.

I am fortunate that Doug does come home on a regular basis and has somewhat of a schedule. I know many trucker wives that have no clue when they'll see their husbands again.

I am also fortunate and very, very blessed and thankful that Doug has a job. Yes, I know that is a wonderful thing in this economy and we are thankful. But reminding me of that after you ask me how I'm doing and I tell you how lonely I am or how hard of a week I'm having does not make the week any less hard or the nights any less lonely. Yes, I am thankful Doug has a job. I just wish he had one where he came home far more than he didn't. And it really is hard to listen to you complain about your husband being late for dinner again. I rarely get to cook my husband dinner.

And there are so many military wives with their husbands gone for very long stretches. I'm sure she faces even more challenges that I am dealing with. If you are a military family, thank you so much for your sacrifice for our country and our freedoms. I am very grateful to you.

We have learned so very much through this schedule. The value of time spent together. Not taking each other for granted. Making love as often as possible when he is home, because it will be a while before we get to do it again, no matter how tired we feel. Taking time to sit and talk. Holding hands and looking into each others' eyes when we talk. It is so not the same to have the majority of your conversations on the phone. How much we really, really do love each other. And that sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder, but week after week of absence just sucks. Oh, that is another thing not to say to a friend that has this lifestyle.........occasional absence is good for a relationship and does make the heart grow fonder. Regular absence is hard, painful and totally sucks.

I have friends that tell me how lucky I am that my husband has this schedule. They'd love that. A break from sex and not having to take care of them. I am sad for their marriages. I can't imagine being happy that Doug is gone so much more than he is home. After I kiss him good-bye for the week, I can't even watch him pull out of the driveway. It just hurts.

So, the next time you talk to a woman with this type of lifestyle, why don't you give her a hug and ask her what you can do to help her not have to do it alone this week, how she can not feel overwhelmed, if she'd like to go for coffee, or if she has little kids if you can give her a break.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I got my nose pierced!

The first week of June I ran away from home and got my nose pierced! I think it is totally adorable!

I drove to my girlfriend's house in PA and then we continued on to another friend's house in VA. We spent three lovely nights with her. Peg is such a dear, sweet friend. I love her bubbly personality and staying in a houseful of girls! She has 4 of them. So different than boys.

Anyway, back to the nose. So Monday evening Peg, Jen, Liesl and I drove to Richmond and met Danielle, Anne, and Kelly for dinner at Bottoms Up Pizza. Oh my is that the best pizza I've ever had! Dana was supposed to join us, but she was occupied with babymooning. She had her sweet baby daughter that morning. We missed her!

Then it was on to the tattoo parlor. The one we had planned to go to was closed. So we walked around until we found another one. The piercing guy wouldn't be there for 30 minutes, so we went out to dessert. We found a lovely restaurant. It has nice atmosphere and AWESOME dessert. I had a chocolate cake with raspberry filling, chocolate ganache icing and caramel sauce. It was SO yummy!

And then back to the tattoo parlor. I was starting to get nervous. But I had my reinforcements with me. I went all the way to VA so I would have reinforcements :) So this totally freaky looking, but very, very compassionate and kind, man takes me to the back room. He explains how the cork he just pushed up no nose is to stop the needle. I start to get nervous, but just closed my eyes and waited. When he put the needle through my nose, my right eye just watered and watered. And then I got hot and dizzy and nauseated. I thought I was going to pass out. The guy kept asking if I was OK and trying to get my nose to quit bleeding. He did go get me a cool, wet cloth and talked softly to me. Then he helped me off the table, gave me the stud he would have changed it to in 4 weeks if only I didn't live in OH, and sent me on my way with my girlfriends.

It hurt more than I expected. I had a horrible headache that night. The next day my nose burned. Wednesday is was really itchy. And now it is mostly healed up and only hurts when I twist it. I can change it in 4-8 weeks. I'm going to wait at least 6.

So that's what I've been up to. How about you?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Congratulations Jordan!!!!!

Jordan graduated today! I cannot believe he is all big and everything. I also can't believe I've home schooled for 12 years already!! Where does the time go?

We had a very casual graduation ceremony at the beginning of his open house. Doug said some wonderful things and gave him his diploma. What an awesome thing for a dad to be able to do.

Then we opened it up for all who were there to come up and say a few words to Jordan. It was really nice. Such a personal graduation ceremony.

We had a picnic at my in-laws' home. They have a fabulous yard for it! And the weather was simply gorgeous!!

Here is Jordan with Doug and me. (Do not ever take your picture at that angle!)
Isaac got up and said quite a few things.
Brother Love
His long time friend, John, also had great things to say. Jordan and John have been friends since Jordan was 1st grade and John was 2nd. John was also home schooled through graduation.
Everybody hugged him. They didn't do it long, and I only got a few shots since the delay on my camera took longer than it did for these guys to hug LOL.

Brenda, John's momJordan and Cay (my step-mom) Cay really tried not to cry, but she isn't very successful at that. So after a teary little speech, she smacked him in the stomach, told him to take better care of her boat and cottage, and then walked away. It was a nice comic relief.
Jordan and his friend Zach
Zach's mom, DavinaJordan and Kevin
Jordan and Gramma Chris (my mom)
The Graduation Boy
Jordan, Doug and Isaac
Me
The trampoline was a big hit!
Jordan and our neighbor, Adam
And the cake!
We had a great day!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Happy 15th Birthday Allen!!!

I cannot believe that my baby is 15 today! But he is. Time fly so quickly. Just yesterday he was born, or at least it seems that way. And now he is 15. Allen is a fabulous young man, kind, considerate and loves the Lord!

Happy Birthday Allen!!!!

The day after he was born. Jordan was 3 1/2 and Isaac was 20 months.

He's 13 here

Fishing at the lake!

3 months. Wasn't he a cutie??

Sunday, May 03, 2009

May Already?!?!?!

I cannot believe it is May already!! Where is this year going?

I've been busy posting a gazillion (or so it seems) recipes on my cooking blog. Jordan has finished school, and we are busy getting ready for his graduation and open house on June 13th. And the time before then is very busy.

  • I'll be going to the CHAP convention on Friday
  • Mother's Day we'll be at the lake opening it up and putting in the dock. That will be great fun!
  • I'm helping Doug with the end of the year bowling banquet for the boys' bowling league the next weekend.
  • Memorial Day will be coming up. I need to figure out HOW to schedule a birthday party for Allen. My baby will be 15!!
  • On the 31st I'm leaving for a trip to VA. I'll be visiting girlfriends and we'll be celebrating my 40th birthday (Which was in Feb.) I'll be getting my nose pierced and we'll go for yummy pizza.
  • I get home on the 4th.
  • There's an open house on the 5th
  • My mom's 60th birthday (I have a young, beautiful mom) is on the 7th and so is my Uncle's wedding, but it is THREE hours each way.
  • I hope we can all go to lunch for my mom's birthday the week afterwards
  • Then it's Jordan's graduation/open house.
  • The next weekend we're having a Sonlight meet up (where SL'ers from near and far will come meet each other) at Cook Forest, PA forthe day.

So all these things are going to be great fun, but I'm feeling quite overwhelmed! Somehow Doug and I need to find time to just be during this busy time. It's hard to cram so much into the few days a week he is home.

So that's what's happening here. What's going on at your house?

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Word of Warning!!!!

I am doing major decluttering for the next several weeks. I am going through years and years of Taste of Home magazine (from 1999 through 2008 sometime) and also Quick Cooking from the premiere issue until 2 years ago.

I am going through these magazines, finding our family's favorites and putting them on my cooking blog, and then I'll be giving them away.

So, if you have my cooking blog in your Google Reader or are following it, be warned that there will be a LOT of recipes posted over the next couple of weeks. I didn't want to freak you out LOL.

Monday, April 06, 2009

I'm still alive and kicking!!


Remember a couple weeks ago when I mentioned that my girlfriend was having a baby and I'd be going to help? Well, she had her baby. A sweet baby boy.


So I'm at her house until Wednesday. I've been here for a week now. I'm really going to have baby and 3 year old withdrawals when I go home. It is lovely to snuggle her kiddos. This is the first time I've not felt like I wish I had littles again. Ahh....it's good to be content.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Going on a date tonight!!

Well, we go on a date most every week. But this will be our first date alone since mid-January :) :) :)

For the past few months we've been double dating with friends. And even when we're not, the band we listen to, the member's wives and girlfriends are there so we sit with them, which is way fun.

But tonight, everybody is busy and we didn't invite anybody to go with us :) We'll have dinner and dancing at one of our favorite places.

So that's my evening.....what is yours??

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What's Happening?

We've had a lot going on here. We're in the home stretch of our hs'ing. I'm looking forward to a break in June. We're also graduating our first son this year. Wow! Where did that time go?? He's busy looking for a job. He isn't sure what he wants to do and has no desire to go to college right now. So his plan is to work for a while and figure things out.

Isaac is counting down the opening of the cabin. We all are, but he is really looking forward to it. In the next couple of weeks they will start putting in docks. They love that little side business.

Allen is looking forward to a visit with our friends while I'm out of town.

Doug is still driving to and from California every week. We both look forward to Wednesday night.

I'm on baby watch. My girlfriend is having a baby and I'll be going to the hospital with her. She lives about 3 hours from here. We're in hurry up and wait mode in the last few days of her pregnancy. I am so blessed she asked me to be with her.

So that is us lately. What's been up with you?


I've started yet another blog!

In January I started a marriage blog, Love Lasts a Lifetime (I'll also put a link in my sidebar). I talk about all aspects of marriage over there. I'm doing a book discussion on Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman on Wednesdays, issue weekly challenges on blessing your husband, and talk about all kinds of things.

So hop on over and check it out if you like. Mom and Gram, you really don't need to hop on over there ;)

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I can see clearly now :)

I picked up new glasses yesterday. It's been 3 years since I've had an eye exam. The past 6 months or so things have been blurry, even with my glasses. I cannot see far, so what does that make me, nearsighted?

Anyway, things far away have been burry, even with my glasses. Although I can still read just fine (thankyouverymuch) :)

So imagine my surprise when the doctor told me that my prescription is not as strong as it was. My nearsightedness is actually getting better. I was elated! And then she went on to tell me why. Well, because I am getting older and my eyes are shifting. Shortly I won't be able to read OR see far and will need bifocals. I have a few years yet, anyway.

So I wanted a totally different look this time. I couldn't decide. I tried on dozens and dozens of frames. The ladies there helped me and this is what I decided on. I like them. And gosh, I can read street signs again!!!

Monday, March 02, 2009


Peanut Butter-Banana Oatmeal

I thought I'd share a recipe here. I usually just post them to my recipe blog, but thought I may as well share some here, too, right?

Peanut Butter-Banana Oatmeal

1/2 c. old-fashioned oats
1/2 c. water
1/2 c. fat free milk
1/3 c. chopped banana (about 1 small)
1/8 tsp. salt
18 tsp. cinnamon (I used nutmeg)
1 1/2 T light brown sugar
1T natural-style chunky peanut butter (I used creamy)

Combine first 6 ingredients in a 3-cup microwave-safe bowl; stir well. Microwave at high 3 minutes.*

Add sugar and PNB to oat mixture. Stir until thick and creamy. Serve immediately.

YIELD: 2 servings; 2/3 c. = 4 WW points

*I always boil oatmeal over in the microwave. So I put this into a 4 cup small PC batter bowl. I cooked it for 3 minutes and the oats were still crunchy. It put it back in for 2 minutes. The oats were cooked, and also spilled over the bowl. I'm going to cook it on the stove-top next time.

This was very, very yummy. Tasted like PNB oatmeal cookies!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Surprise! Surprise!! Surprise!!!



Surprised. That would be me last night. I had my 40th birthday on Thursday. My MIL made dinner for me and then let the boys stay the night so Doug and I could be home alone. It was a nice, relaxing and low-keyed birthday. Earlier in the week my mom and gramma took me to lunch, and another day my girlfriends took me to lunch.



So imagine my surprise last night when Doug and I go out and I have friends from ALL over the place! My friends from VA were there. Another girlfriend 2 1/2 hours away was there, friends from an hour away, all people we meton SL. Plus lots and lots of friends that we know from going dancing.


These people are so sneaky! Good thing I trust them, because they could really pull the wool over my eyes if they wanted to.


So here's the story. Doug and I were supposed to go to dinner and out dancing for my birthday, all alone because it has been a month or so since we'd done that.


So we go to the restaurant. It was lovely. Doug had gone in the day before and talked to the owner (who he knows of course, because he knows mostly everybody). So we get there and there is a table in the corner reserved for us with a bottle of champagne on ice. I really love champagne. So we had a lovely, relaxing dinner. So then Doug says we need to be to the place early so he can fix the drummer's sound board or some such thing. Needed to be there by 8:15. All was going well until I realized Doug's earring was falling out. Oops, the back is gone. He needed to wear this earring, and so needed a new back. Could we just go home (5 min. away) and get another one? Nope. Had to go to Walgreens. You know what? Walgreens doesn't sell earrings. So then we went to Walmart. I told him he better call Tony and tell him we'd be late.


So we finally get there and Doug drops me at the door, like he always does. I told him I'd go to the restroom and meet him in the hallway, like I always do. He made sure to tell me several times to wait right there for him. DUH, I always do! That man must have RAN through the parking lot because he was standing there waiting for me, and he never is LOL.


So we go and pay and walk in. It was dark in there and I was looking into the back corner where there is a birthday party table trying to see who was back there. I did not look to the right. We rarely sit at the table near the bar anyway.


Well, Doug walks me over that way and I see our friends John and Teri. Yeah, they're always there. But they're sitting at this really long table. I look down the table and I see our very good friends...... HELLO! They live in VA and we were in PA. That is me shocked beyond all belief.


So I look to the end of the table and there are my kids! What?? I am quite in shock and a little confused Then I really look around the table and I see friends from about an hour away, my in-laws, my girfriend about 2 1/2 hours awy, my girlfriend Toni, two more couple friends from an hour or so away, our friends from the band and other friends we know from going out. Oh my gosh you could have knocked me over with a feather! I was so totally surprised!


Then a few minutes Doug hands me the phone and I'm on a 3 way call with SL friends from Maine and Tennessee. So that was a fun chat.


It was so incredibly fun. I feel so very blessed and loved. It was just such a perfect evening.


Thank you guys for driving through such cruddy weather and from far away to spend the evening with me for my birthday! I really love you guys! And these gals can keep a secret. And Doug is quite sneaky! The man got me good. I had no idea!!!


My friend, Kristal, blogged about our night on her blog. It is really worth the read. She people watched and told us all about it.



Friday, February 20, 2009

Pray for Mercy

My dear friend Carri has a little girl that was born with a hemangioma. They have spent 2 years working with specialists.

I met Carri almost 10 years ago (has it been that long?) on an email loop. I've since met her IRL. Our family visited her a few summers ago. Isaac, Allen and I went to visit a couple years ago, too. She is a wonderful lady with a gift for hospitality and a love for her family. So she is a real person :)

You can go HERE and read several blog posts about Mercy's condition and ongoing treatment.

If you'd like to add the Pray for Mercy gadget to your blog, please visit Carri's blog for info on how to do that.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Life is flying by so quickly!

How did that happen? I blinked and my kids were all of a sudden 14, 16 and 18. They're taller than I am. They have such deep voices that I'm not sure if I am talking to them on the phone or Doug! I know they were just babies yesterday. My gramma told me this would happen :)

Next week I'll be 40! How did THAT happen? I didn't accomplish the things I wanted to before I was 40. Mainly lose weight and not be sick. I only have control over one of those, and not even really. I can't make myself not sick. I'm learning I also can't make myself lose weight quickly with health issues. But I did lost 14.5 lbs. in the past 11 months! At this rate I'll be to goal before I'm 50 :::snort:::

Our 20th anniversary is this year. WOW! I am just amazed at how quickly life is flying by.

Soon my guys will all be graduated. Jordan graduates this year. He is just about finished up with all of his school work and is looking for a job. He doesn't want to attend college right now (or ever he says ;) ). So he's looking for a job. Not an easy thing to do in this day and age or in the area we live in.

Isaac and Allen are both in high school and barreling towards the finish line! Isaac is wanting to get his driver's license soon. He needs to find a part-time job first so he can pay for at least some of his insurance. Teenage boys are expensive to insure! Allen gets his permit this year! Amazing.

So today I am sitting here remembering them being little and how crazy life was then. It isn't any less crazy now, it is just different crazy. I am really enjoying life with teens. They are growing up into amazing people.

So next week will be busy with birthday celebrations. Mom is coming on Tuesday for lunch. Two girlfriends are meeting me for lunch on Wednesday. Doug will be home on my birthday, which is Thursday :) We had plans to go away overnight, but we may not do that. If we stay home, hopefully we'll have a quiet family evening celebrating. Doug is taking me out on Saturday to dinner and dancing to celebrate.

Life is good :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What I've Been Up To

It's been a busy month. I can't believe February is almost over! Wasn't it just Christmas?

We've been quite busy. January we were buried in snow and freezing with close to zero temps.

Doug and I got together with friends a couple of times. We had dinner and went dancing with one couple at the end of January. Last weekend we wento to dinner with 2 couples. We met all of these couples on Sonlight. Isn't the internet fun?

Sunday I went to PA to visit my girlfriend (Another SL friend) and got home today. Allen came with me. It was SO relaxing and nice. I cuddled her 3 year old daughter and Allen played with her 7 year old son. We relaxed and visited and did not much of anything. We did enjoy sunshine and the fact the temps were above freezing :) I babysat yesterday evening so she and her husband could go out.

We've been plugging along with school. We've all been cabin fevered. Just a couple more months and it will be spring.

I've barely left my house other than visiting Jen and going out with Doug on the weekends. I think I've only driven my car 4 times since Christmas LOL.

I've been feeling so-so. Better than last year, but not good. I've been doing a pretty good job staying on top of the fibro this year. I've been napping and getting enough sleep at night and not over scheduling. This is one of the toughest times of year for me. But I'm doing so-so.

Doug will be home tomorrow, although very late, so I won't see him until Thursday. We have plans Thursday and Saturday. I hope to be incredibly lazy all Friday evening after errands on Friday.

My birthday is next week. Doug and I are hoping to go away for the night. We'll see if that works out.

So that's me lately. Same old same old, not much going on but winter ;)

What have you been doing? How is your weather? I'll live vicariously through your sunshine if you tell me about it :)

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


My Mom gave me this blog award. Thanks Mom!

The official rules are as follows:

1. Copy the award to your site
2. Link to the person from whom you received the award
3. Nominate 7 other bloggers
4. Link to those on your blog
5. Leave a message on the blogs you nominated

Jennifer ~ Jennifer's Joy Ride ~ I "know" Jennifer from the Sonlight forums. She is always so encouraging to me.

Peg ~ Life at La Geron ~ Another friend I know from the Sonlight forums. I've had the pleasure of meeting her IRL a few times. She makes me laugh. She knits beautifully and has an etsy shop.

Bethany ~ The Land of Curly Hair ~ OK, so I know a lot of people from the Sonlight forums :) Bethany has the most adorable kids, great pictures, lots of frugal living tips and great recipes. She has a recipe blog linked from this blog.

De'Etta ~ Choosing Joy ~ I know De'Etta from a home schooling Yahoo group. She is a military mom of a large family. So encouraging in life and school and being healthy.

Kristal ~ Knit 1 Kids 4 ~ Another Sonlight friend. Kristal only lives an hour from me and I've had the pleasure of calling her a friend. We're going on a double date (well triple since another couple is going, too) soon. She takes beautiful photos and also knits beautiful and has an etsy shop.

Robin ~ Knittin' Peace ~ Another Sonlight friend. Robin makes me laugh. And she sews the most stunning aprons. She also has an etsy shop.

Susan ~ Wild Life in the Woods ~ Yep, another Sonlight friend. Susan makes me laugh until I cry. She is also blessed with the gift of encouragement. She will always have something encouraging to say about whatever is bothering you. Such a blessing she is.

Anybody else that would like to participate. Please leave me a comment so I know you did :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

I am JUST DONE with Winter!

Too bad I have 2 1/2 more months.

There is too much testosterone and too much boredom this time of year. We are all on each other's nerves.

Why do I live in this area??

I love these kids and my life and hs'ing, but gosh, today I'd like to be all alone, in the sun, in the warmth, with a book and no teenage boys around LOL.

So how is it at your house? Are you nearing the end of winter? If you are, don't rub it in too much ;)

Friday, January 23, 2009

My Mom did this meme on her blog. I thought it sounded like fun, so I asked her to interview me :)

1. What are the rewards you have received from homeschooling your children?
It is rewarding to watch them learn something they've been strugging with. It is also nice that the boys can see Doug on his days off. He works such a crazy schedule.

2. What are your favorite things to do as a family?
In the winter we like to play games together. Apples to Apples is a new favorite. We also like card games.

3. What is your favorite movie of all time?
Return to Me

4. Who is your favorite author and why?
I have to pick just 1? I don't have A favorite author, but I'll just talk about one. Right now I am really enjoying Diana Gabaldon. She wrote the Outlander series. She does a fantastic job of weaving a story, drawing you in, developing the characters and plot and using historical facts.

I also like Debbie Macomber, Nelson DeMille, James Patterson, Karen Kingsbury, and many, many other authors.

5. What would be your dream vacation?
Two weeks alone with Doug. We'd go to a luxury cabin on a lake in the mountains. It would be sunny and warm, but not too hot. A nice boat and a hot tub would be necessary :) I'd like to do it right now please :)

For those of you who might want to be interviewed, here are the directions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions and I will need your e-mail.).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Tips for Keeping Your House Clean (or at least picked up)

There were a few threads recently on the Sonlight forums about how do you keep your house clean. So I thought I'd share a few things that I do to keep the house cleaned up.

Now, my house is in no way spotlessly clean. But it is usually presentable and moderately clean.

  • When working in the kitchen, wipe up spills as they happen. It only takes a few seconds at the time of the spill since it isn't dried on.
  • Keep a sink of soapy water so you can wash as you go.
  • Deal with dirty dishes the first time. Meaning, if it is going into the dishwasher, put it into the dishwasher as soon as you are finished with it instead of letting things stack up in the sink to deal with later.
  • Clean up the kitchen after every meal. It takes about 10 min. for me to clean up after breakfast and lunch, 15-20 after dinner, instead of an hour+ at the end of the day when I am exhausted.
  • Enlist the help of your children. Give them daily chores and a set time to do them.
  • Toss junk mail instead of letting it pile up.
  • Have a cleaning schedule. I dust and clean the living and dining rooms on Wednesday, deep clean the kitchen on Wednesday, laundry on Monday and Friday, bathroom cleaned Sunday evening, etc. My bedroom dusted/swept on Tuesday.
  • Have kids pick up toys/stuff before afternoon quiet time/nap time and before bed.
  • Each of my kids has a large laundry basket for their school stuff. They put their books and notebooks in there and then after school, it goes into the school room. Ironically we don't do school there, but we keep stuff there.
  • Do a quick clean up before bed. Fold blankets, load up dishes, wipe counters, pick up clutter. A 10 minute walk through the house to tidy up before bed means when you get up in the morning, you don't have to do yesterday's work.

Those are just a few things I do to keep the house picked up and cleaned. I admit to being a Type A naturally organized person, so this comes easily to me.

What tips can you share?

Friday, January 16, 2009

It is incredibly cold here today!

When I got up at 6am, it was -13 with a -25 windchill. I don't think it got above zero today.

Tomorrow "they" promise it will be 18! After 3 days of below zero temps, I will think it's a heat wave LOLOL.

What's your weather?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ohio Winter Journal

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 - Ohio is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful; certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ohio. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

Dec. 21 - More of that white stuff coming down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. *******.

Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the SOB who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll strangle him! And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crud??

Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the month of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the plow driver actually had the stones to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a bleepity bleep deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the dang thing. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of crud into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that dratted salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow poop!

Jun 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Ohio....




O - H.....I - O!
__________________
Posting a video ~ Just a test

This video cracks me up every time I see it. I know it's been around the net, but thought it would be a good one to practice with :)




It seems to have worked I think.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Do you like yourself as a mom?

That was the question one mom asked on the Sonlight forums today. It has been a very interesting discussion. And I am saddened by the amount of those that do not feel they are a good mom :(

This was my reply:
Life is hard and busy and just a plain old lot of work. We have ideals in our head what a good mom is. Mine was a good mom did not yell at her kids. Guess what? I'm a yeller. I have this wonderfully patient friend that never yells at her kids, and she has 4 and I only have 3.

So I was telling her this one day, how I wish I could be such a good mom as her. Guess what she told me. She wants to be a good mom like me. Because in her fantasy world of what a good mom is, she decided a good mom cooked great meals and baked yummy goodies. Well, I did that.

The times I liked myself as a mom the least, I was too busy. I had to take a hard look at how I was spending my time, and how I wanted to spend my time. I did let my PC buisness go because I just couldn't do it all. Have a PC business, home school my kids, do all around the house, raise kids mostly by myself because Doug isn't home much. I didn't want to be leaving my boys 2 and 3 and sometimes 4 evenings a week so I could do kitchen shows. I didn't want to be busy on the phone in the afternoon. It was a sacrafice, because I loved it and I was good at it. It's been worth it though. There have been times I've been way too busy doing "stuff" outside the home, and I've had to let that go, too. Kicking and screaming usually.

It is easy to get down on myself. I want to do so much more than I do. Things I used to do before I dealt with chronic disease. But you know what? I can't. So I can make sure I am doing the important things. Being there at night when somebody knocks on my bedroom door and wants to hang out and talk to me. Usually I have to get off the computer or hang up the phone, and sometimes I just plain don't want to. But talking to the person that needs that outlet then is important.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess to answer your question, yes I like myself as a mom. Am I doing it the way my "fantasy mom" does? Nope. And I have to remind myself that I do not have to be "fantasy mom" when I get discouraged. I only have to be the best mom the Lord has called me to be.

I'd encourage you to spend time in prayer, in looking over your schedule, in talking with your husband and decide which things are important and how to make sure they get put into your shedule. I think you can have a business, sit outside and read and have quiet in your day if you can figure out how to schedule it in there. And be flexible.

Natalie/Geek had a fabulous reply:
I'm glad you started this thread. I think many of us need to hear it, including me. We need to know that we're not alone in this, that all moms struggle. We homeschool moms especially spend so much time with our kids already and it often feels like, "Enough already!" when we are expected (by whom?) to spend even MORE time with them, playing and meeting their needs.

I think kleo30 nabbed it when she called this ideal the "fantasy mom". We all have our ideal of what she looks like...and that we aren't her. We beat ourselves up because we can't somehow make ourselves into Fantasy Mom.

What are we afraid of? That we won't live up to God's standard for us? That's the only thing we should be concerned with. And we shouldn't be thinking WE can make ourselves into anything, anyway; we can't. Everything we think we make is really dust, smoke & mirrors anyway.

All this to say: I often don't like myself as a mom, but I'm learning to see myself as a work in progress just as God does. I keep myself up at night, crying from my heart about how I wish I could change. But it is only when I can accept myself--where I am today--that God can do a work in me. As long as we're not accepting ourselves, we are still fooling ourselves into thinking we can change ourselves. That is pride, fallen into due to fear of what everyone but God thinks of us.

I do spend many of these late, fretful nights thinking I'm crying out to the Lord...but I'm not. I'm crying out to my Self, trying to make my Self figure out how to be Fantasy Mom #1.

1. Fantasy Mom doesn't exist. In fact, she is actually a false god.

2. God-is-changing-me-a-little-each-day Mom does exist.

--I give myself down time, within reason.--I forgive myself when I'm having a bad day and just don't want to hear about Star Wars the Clone Wars *again*, nor do I want to play Chutes 'n Ladders or drag out messy paints.--I recognize my drive to be a better mom is most often rooted in fear and pride, not in a humble desire to be better. The humble desire to be better must rest completely in God changing me, not me changing myself. Yes, I must cooperate, but I'm not supposed to have anything figured out. Not anything. I'm supposed to feel like I'm clinging to a rock to avoid drowning! When I think I've got something figured out, all I've really done is let go of the rock and erect a useless raft made out of dust & mud.--I do my very best to take one day at a time. I can only do today. Very often I can only do this minute or this hour. That's okay.--I try to gently remind myself that I'm human and that I already do spend a great deal of time with my kids. It's normal to need a break! It's normal to feel like you want to escape, no matter the cost! The more space I give myself, the less resentful I feel, and the more I want to actually spend down time with the kids.--I remind myself that there is a fine, but significant, line between 1) fretting because I'm not who I think I should be (setting up a false god), and 2) allowing God to weed my garden.

Lastly--but most importantly!--I place a very high priority on time with the Lord. I tell my kids when they come downtairs in the morning earlier than usual, "Mommy is recharging her batteries, just like the battery charger plugged in over there." They get it, especially when I tell them that an empty Mom battery is one that yells a lot, LOL. They are learning to respect Mom as a person who has needs, to see that Mom needs God to recharge, and that recharging with God improves people and is time well spent.

So how about you? Do you like yourself as a mom?
It's a winter wonderland!!!!
It started snowing early yesterday evening and snowed all night. We woke up to about 8" of snow and it was still falling.
It is falling at a rate of 1 1/2" inches an hour. We are in the southernmost part of the snowbelt. I cannot imagine how much snow they are getting near the lake!
It is gorgeous out there! It is also a bit of a bummer because we had plans tonight. We were going out with Rick and Linda. Rick and Doug share a birthday, and our families were going out for a grand night on the town. We'll have to reschedule that I am sure!
My people are everywhere. Jordan spent the night at a friend's house. He is supposed to work today. I'm sure the grocery store won't close UGH. So he needs to make his way home. Probably sooner than later when there is more snow.
Isaac spent the night at my gramma's house. Doug just left to get him. Secretly, I think he wants driveway shoveling help. Isaac is a great driveway shoveler :)
Allen had 2 friends stay last night. They just came in from playing in the snow. I think Allen is going to make them instant cocoa. The one dad is coming at 2 to get the boys.
If it were up to me, everybody would stay put until tomorrow :)
Me, I'm having a jammie day. I did put corn chowder on for lunch. I am in a lot of pain today, so I took some pain meds, grabbed the laptop, telephone and remote control and climed into bed. I am propped up with tons of pillows and plan to not move most of the day. Oh, I have my crocheting with me too :)
So how is your weather today?